


Lockdown

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergent, Fluff, Jace/Izzy friendship, M/M, Romance, institute, post 2x18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 01:49:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12048813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: What's worse than being stuck in a 24 hour Institute lockdown? Being stuck in one with your ex boyfriend, his family and lots of opinions.





	1. Chapter 1

"Are the new wards up yet?" Alec asked, but Jace knew what he really meant was "Is Magnus still here?"

The Shadowhunter and the Warlock hadn't spoken in months, not since Magnus had told Alec that he couldn't be the leader he needed to be and still be with him. Alec had even insisted on sending a formal Institute request to Magnus asking him to re-instate the wards instead of just picking up the phone himself. Jace suspected that was mostly because Alec was terrified that Magnus might not answer if he knew it was him, and even more scared that he would.

"Yeah, he's almost done. Leaving any minute. Look, Alec, why don't you just go and talk to him instead of playing 21 questions with everyone who's had any contact with him."

"No Jace," Alec said, fixing his brother a steely glare, "Magnus was the one that said he can't be a leader for his people if he's with me. If the situation has changed I'm sure he'd let me know...what the hell?"

Sirens blasted out overhead as the lights shut off and back up low level lighting came on.

"Something must have triggered the auto lockdown," Jace said as they picked up their pace and headed towards the main centre to see what was going on.

"They couldn't have waited until Magnus had left the building." Alec muttered under his breath as he caught sight of his ex-boyfriend for the first time in months. "Status report?" he asked, casually ignoring Magnus' gaze, lest he start having a panic attack right there and then.

"We're not sure what caused the lockdown, but now we have the new automated system from the Clave, we can't lift it for 24 hours that means no portals in or out either" he clarified,

"Excuse me, what?" Magnus asked, approaching the group, purposefully addressing no-one in particular. "Do you mean to say that we're all stuck here, for 24 hours. All of us...together."

Alec rubbed the space between his eyes in anticipation of the migraine that was coming and turned to face Magnus for what seemed like the first time in eternity. Palms sweaty and heart racin.

"Look, Magnus" he stalled, the name suddenly sounding foreign on his tongue, "I know this is the last place you want to be right now. Believe me, if there was any way out of this I would tell you, but the Institute's a big place..." he drifted off as someone handed him a file. The "we'll never have to see each other left unspoken."

"Izzy, can you find Magnus a room for tonight," he asked, npt able to turn his gaze back to Magnus, hoping his sister would hear the unspoken plea of "Save me from this nightmare!"

"Sure," she smiled, "Magnus...?"

"Lead the way, my dear," Magnus smiled as he followed her, not knowing what to make of what just happened. Granted, he could have handled himself a bit better, showing his hand so easily hadn't been a wise move, but the thought of being trapped with Alec for 24 hours had sent ice running through his veins. He was barely holding it together when he had a whole city to divide them, but knowing that Alec was so close terrified him.

"Here you go," Isabelle said, pulling him out of his own thoughts, "not quite a penthouse loft I'm afraid but the best we have to offer."

"I'm sure it'll be perfect, thank you." Magnus stepped into the room to survey his surroundings, he had no intention of leaving this room for the next 24 hours lest he run into an awkward conversation...or 5.

"Alec's room is just down the hall," Izzy offered, "you know, just in case you were interested. Not that he spends much time in there these days."

Magnus narrowed his gaze and cocked his head to side questioningly but held his tongue. If Alexander wanted him to know any of this he would be telling him himself, not sending his sister.

"I'm not sure when the last time he slept was Magnus," Izzy carried on, Magnus clearly not going to take the bait. "He's exhausted and I don't know how much more of this he can takebefore he gets himself hurt. Please, I know it's none of my business, but would you just talk to him. It's not like you've got anywhere else to be right now."

"Isabelle, I'm not trying to hurt him, you know that don't you? It might be painful now, but it'll be better for everyone in the long run. We're from different worlds, and this isn't the last time they're going clash, it's better to stop this now, once and for all instead of the two of us getting caught in the middle time and time again."

"If you really believe that, then fine, do what you have to do, but if you do believe that, then you also know that coming to his wedding and asking him to question everything he is for you, knowing that you would run away the second things got difficult, was cruel and you're not cruel Magnus. Or at least I like to think you're not."

Izzy walked down the hall in the direction of the command centre, leaving Magnus alone to ponder her words. She was right, as much as he hated to admit it, he was being cruel right now. He was foing everything he had asked Alec not to do. Just giving up because things were tough. Wasn't what they had worth fighting for?

"But how many times can we survive that fight" he asked himself. No, better to end this now and save repeating this same pain over and over whenever the Clave or Downworld problems came between them.


	2. Chapter 2

"I thought I'd bring you some food," Jace said, "Relax, it's just me," he added as Magnus stood up abruptly. "I don't think you have to worry about Alec finding his way to your door anytime soon. He's had his fill of rejection for a while... Sorry, but it's true" Jace said as Magnus raised his eyebrows in a "really, you can't cut me a break expression."

"Look, I'm not blaming you Magnus, I can't imagine this situation is easy on you either. You still love him, we all know that.….You don't think you're right for him and you know, that's your choice to make but whether you like it or not, you're the High Warlock of Brooklyn and he's Head of the New York Institute, your paths are gonna cross... This whole clean break thing you're going for just isn't going to work, so if you won't do it for you, please, for my sake as his Parabatai, will you talk to him. Try and find some kind of closure before I drown to death in second hand misery. Please, I'm begging you!"

Magnus knew Jace was right and that this was far from the last bit of unsolicited advice he was going to receive in the next 24 hours so as long he was stuck in the Institute, he might as well suck it up and try to resolve some of the tension that had built up over the last few months.

"Where is he?" Magnus asked wearily,

"Probably his office... or the training room. He's got an unquenchable need to beat the crap out of things lately, can't possibly imagine why." Jace smirked as he left the room, leaving Magnus to ponder his next move, his stomach in knots.

X X X

Alec didn't know how long he'd been hitting that same spot on the punch bag but his aching muscles and bloodied knuckles were enough to tell him it was too long. Leaning his head against the cool material, he slumped forward, almost hugging it and let what little energy he had just seep out of him.

This way the only way he'd found to release the pent up emotions he'd been feeling, everytime he tried talking to anyone about it he just ended up feeling sorry for himself and in his mind, letting that kind of "weakness" overcome him was not befitting of a leader.

"You should let me help you with that,"

Alec started upright as he heard Magnus' voice behind him. Hating that he had been caught out in his moment of weakness. He covered his bloodied hand with the other and brushed the offer off.

"I'm fine," he mumbled not making eye contact, " I have a healing rune."

"Yes, but will you use it?" Magnus asked kindly, knowing Alec's preference to feel the pain all too well. He held his arm outstretched, palm up, and it was all Alec could do not to reach out and put his hand in Magnus'.

"I'm fine," Alec repeated, tone becoming more terse and began collecting his things ready to make a hasty exit.

"Alexander please, if you won't let me help you, will you at least look at me?" Magnus pleaded,

Alec stood, gaze fixed to the ground, hands clenched by his side. The last time he had really looked at Magnus, he'd been watching him walk away through a haze of unshed tears and choked back words. He didn't know if he could do that again. "I have to go," he said firmly, never lifting his gaze.

"Alexander please," Magnus repeated, reaching out and placing his hand on Alec's forearm, only for it to be snatched quickly away like Alec had done once beforeso long ago. Magnus dipped his head and searched out Alec's face, shock and hurt coursing through him, and found the same emotions staring back at him in Alec's eyes.

"Look, Magnus, I'm not trying to be difficult here, I just...I can't …. This...I ….don't know how to do this."Alec sighed, a wave of the hands punctuating every broken sentence,resigned to the fact that he couldn't just walk away from this conversation, even though he had no idea what he really wanted to say.

In that moment Magnus was transported back to before Alec's wedding, to the night where so many things had been said and nothing resolved. This moment had that same ebb of confusion etched into every second.

"Neither do I," Magnus confessed, "but can't we atleast try to go back to the way things were before..."

"Before?" Alec shook his head, did Magnus really not get it? "Magnus, there is no before for me. The person that I was before you doesn't exist anymore. You changed me, for the better, in so many ways and I can't go back."

Magnus nodded his head in resigned understanding, it was true that Alexander was not the person he was the first time that they met and never would be again.

"I don't know who I am without you any more Magnus," Alec said, speaking the words that he had been too afraid to vocalise until now, "and that scares the hell out of me, but I'll figure it out. But I can't lead my people, figure out who the hell I am and do whatever this is at the same time."

"I understand Alexander," Magnus sighed, all his unspoken fears clenching around his heart like a vice.

He had never wanted to make Alec feel this way, had truly believed that keeping them apart was the right thing to do. Didn't all of this confusion and pain just prove that he was right, didn't it prove that Magnus should keep their world's separate so they would never have to face choosing their people over each other again...Didn't it? …...He wasn't sure he could convince himself anymore.

"Alexander," Magnus said softly, Alec visibly pained at hearing his name spoken in that way again, "I know that this is hard, but we have to be able to communicate, for our people, " he added, earning a sharp intake of breath from Alec, who in this moment didn't give a damn about anyone's people if he was brutally honest, "as difficult as this new situation is, can't we just try to make this work?"

"Try to make it work?" Alec laughed almost bitterly, "That's all I ever wanted us to do Magnus" the expression and shaking of his head indicating that he meant as more than just Shadowhunter and Warlock allies, " Look... I should just go," was all Alec could find to say when he was met with uneasy ilence.

Magnus was unable to escape the irony of being denied now of what he himself had refused to give. The image of Alec's pleading eyes the last time they had seen each other taunting him.

Mother," Magnus heard Alec say behind him as he left the room.

Magnus turned, his eyes locking on to those of Maryse Lightwood, muttering under his breath"Oh you can't be serious," ….


	3. Chapter 3

"Maryse," Magnus said, greeting her when all he wanted to do was snap his fingers and build a 100 foot wall around himself.

"Magnus," she replied, echoing his cool yet still polite tone.

"I didn't know you were back in New York," he continued, he was stuck here so he might as well try his best at polite conversation.

"I'm not...officially," she added approaching him, "I came to check in on Max and got caught in the lockdown. I heard you were here and wanted to thank you properly for what you did for him. It meant a lot to our family, I'm sorry I didn't get the opportunity to speak you when I saw you last."

The unspoken, "when you broke my other son's heart," seemed to hang thickly on the air.

"Well, Max is a great kid. I'd never want anything bad to happen to him," Magnus smiled pleasantly as he edged closer to the exit.

"And Alec?" she asked,

"I hardly think this is something I need to discuss with you Maryse," Magnus answered crisply, after his confrontation with Alec, he was hardly in the mood for round 2.

"Magnus please," she said, talking with her hands in a gesture he found sadly familiar, " I don't mean to cause offense... truly. I know things are difficult between the two of you, and that I haven't always been the most supportive..."

Magnus cocked an eyebrow as the woman before him stated the most obvious truth he had ever heard,

"but I do hope that things work themselves out between you." she told him, sincerity ringing clear in her voice. "Alec has always felt responsible for everyone else in his life, confined by the rules laid out for him. Trapped, really, on a path that Robert and I set out for him when he was too young to understand that it would never be what he wanted."

Magnus listened in stunned silence, he had never imagined that Maryse Lightwood of all people would ever open up to him in such a way, least of all, admit that she had made a mistake in raising her son.

"When Alec met you, he learned that it was ok for him to break those rules, that it was ok, to want what he wanted. I'm only sorry that it took us so long to realise that too and that for so long he felt he couldn't be open with us. You set him free from the cage that we trapped him in Magnus, and despite my previous misgivings and harsh judgements, I'm grateful to you, you saved him when he needed it the most."

"Thank you, Maryse," Magnus said, taken aback by the sudden turn of events and truly warmed at her words. Not that they would do him any good now...

"He does understand your decision you know?" Maryse offered as they left the room together, standing side by side in the small corridor, "He may not like it, but as head of his own people, he understands and respects that sometimes you will have to put them first, All he wants is the chance to stand by your side while you do that."

"And then what?" Magnus challenged softly, "we suffer through this war to find peace, only to have it shattered again the next time."

"You're right, there will always be another war," she agreed, unknowingly echoing his own past words, "but you need to decide what is more important to you. Taking the chance to cherish the time you could have together or letting the threat of war consume you."

Magnus closed his eyes and dropped his head, although he knew in his heart what was more important, his head fought back with a hundred reasons why he was wrong. Standing alone in the hallway, Magnus knew that by the time he left the Institute, he had to silence this internal war for good and make a choice. Would his head win out and shore up his crumbling resolve or would his heart find the courage to fight for what he wanted.

"Alexander," he whispered, only now truly comprehending the bravery Alec had shown when he had chosen Magnus that day, "you never cease to amaze me."

X X X

"So, how exactly did you trigger the lockdown?" Izzy questioned.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jace smirked,

"Oh really, I'm sure," Izzy shook her head, eyebrow arched knowingly, "Alec won't be happy when he finds out."

"Look Iz," Jace shrugged, keeping up the charade, "all I know is that neither one of them was ever going to make the first move. Thankfully, this completely accidental, and by no means pre-planned or carefully executed lockdown might knock some sense into their stubborn heads."

"Yeah, let's hope so," Izzy agreed,

"Hope so what?" her big brother questioned, entering the room unexpectedly,

"That we can figure out what triggered the lockdown and fix it," she covered quickly, frowning as she took in Alec's tired gaze and heavy movements, "Alec, It's late... you're exhausted. Go get some sleep, we can handle this,"

"I'm fine," he said, his bandaged hand moving to cover hers on the table top,

"No you're not," Jace cut in, "and I don't just mean the hand...and don't even bother arguing because we both know I'm right."

Alec had been repressing his emotions for weeks, as much to keep them from affecting his Parabatai as it was to protect himself, but the sympathetic look in his brother's eye confirmed that it clearly wasn't working.

"Get some sleep Alec...and not in your office!"

"Fine!" Alec caved petulantly. If it would get them off his back for 5 minutes he'd spend the night in his room, but really what was the point? He knew when he was lying there alone tonight, a thousand unsaid words battling in his mind, that sleep wouldn't come. "but if anything happens you come get me."

"Sure thing big brother," Izzy smiled, patting him reassuringly on the back as he left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

"So, are you just gonna stand there all night or do you have something to say?"

Magnus was pulled back to the real world as he heard Alec almost sigh the words, eyes still closed. He'd only meant to peek into the room to check on him and then leave, but he sensed that he had been there much longer than intended, having become frozen in place the moment he had lain eyes on Alec's sleeping form.

"I'm sorry," Magnus faltered, uncharacteristically stumbling as he took a step back, " I didn't mean to wake you …..I'm leaving."

'You're good at that,' Alec's overtired mind blurted out bitterly, but he managed to still the words on his tongue before letting them out.

"I wasn't asleep," he said instead, pulling himself up in a seated position, head resting wearily on the wall. Opening his eyes slowly he fixed Magnus with a questioning gaze.

The last time that they had been together before the lockdown, outside of battle anyway, Magnus hadn't even been able to look him in the eye. He'd shown his true colours on the battle field, saving Alec from the dragon and turning his back on the Seelie Queen, but then he'd just walked away again. No explanation, no resolution... just nothingness. Why was he here now?

Alec knew the pain he had stored up inside the last couple of months was now rapidly turning into bitterness, and he also knew that that wasn't fair. Alec had made his own fair share of mistakes, no one person was to blame here.

"What are you doing here Magnus?" Alec asked, his voice laced with exhaustion and frustration.

"I don't know," Magnus confessed, stepping into the room, the faint glow of the hallway light giving only the barest illumination. He perched on the edge of the bed, poised to speak but never getting the words out.

Alec just looked back at him with tired eyes. He didn't have the energy to question what this was tonight, he wasn't sure he even really wanted to know. He tilted his head towards the empty side of the bed in silent invitation and lay back down, eyes open but unseeing in the darkness.

Magnus breathed deeply as he stood, every ounce of him knowing that this was probably a bad idea, but unable to stop his feet from carrying him to the other side of the bed. His eyes strained in the dark, tracing the lines of Alec's body, if this would be the last memory they made, he would make sure he remembered every detail. Knowing he shouldn't, he closed the door fully with a flick of blue flames from his fingertips before matching Alec's position on the bed.

They lay like that for hours, silent in the darkness, neither knowing if the other was awake and both too afraid to ask.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Magnus whispered, half hoping he could send his confession out into the night without a reply.

Free of hardness but tinged with remorse, Alec's voice echoed back, "I'm sorry I hurt you too."


	5. Chapter 5

It was the numb sensation in his left arm that finally woke Alec, he hadn't slept that deeply in weeks. Opening his eyes he smiled as he saw Magnus, his back nestled against Alec's chest, head resting on his arm.

Without thinking, he placed a soft kiss to back of Magnus' neck and pulled him closer.

The movement caused Magnus to stir, his hands coming up to wrap around Alec's forearms, a soft sigh escaping his lips as leaned back into Alec's warmth. "Morning," he smiled contentedly, opening his eyes but not recognising his surroundings.

Alec felt the tension ripple through Magnus' shoulders, "Morning," he said flatly, pulling his arms away as they both settled back into the reality they had briefly forgotten.

Magnus turned to face Alec, an unspoken question on his lips but written all over his face.

'Should I stay? Silence surrounded them like an impenetrable wall keeping them apart.

"I should go," Magnus half stated, half asked as Alec turned to drop his legs off the side of the bed, no longer able to face the haunting look in Magnus' eyes.

"The lockdown will be over in a few hours, so you know… you uh….you can" Alec stopped his rambling short, knowing that he was just trying to fill the emptiness with meaningless words.

Hearing the door click shut, Alec held his head in his hands and wished more than anything that he could go back to that moment right after he woke up and do this all again differently. The rested feeling quickly drained from his bones and the weight of the world re-positioned itself squarely on his shoulders as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Right," he told himself firmly, "back to work…"

X. X. X

A chorus of "Oh thank the angel" and "Yes! Get me out of here!" rang through the Institute as the hiss of the door locks announced their release.

'Finally. It's over.' Magnus silently rejoiced, releasing a heavy breath, wondering if he could make it from his hiding place to the exit without being spotted. He hadn't plucked up the courage to talk to Alec yet and had been waiting out the lockdown in a quiet corner hoping to go unnoticed.

"Looking for Alec?" Clary called out behind him,

"No?!" he blurted out, petulance masking surprise, this was the last thing he needed. The lovely Miss. Fairchild had an uncanny knack of drawing attention. "I'm just on my way out, no escort necessary," he said waving his hand in a "run-along" gesture.

"Oh, really?" Clary smirked, folding her arms across her body not buying it, "You don't want to accidentally run into him before you leave…."

"I'm not a child Clary. I'm above orchestrating such nonsense." …..'well that's not true' his mind added unhelpfully,

"Hmm," Clary whispered, leaning in to his ear as if to share a secret, "well if you didn't want to see him….. why didn't you just portal out?"

Magnus stepped back and looked at her eyes wide, mouth open in surprise, unable to believe that he had overlooked something so obvious.

"Oh, Hey Alec!" Clary beamed over Magnus' shoulder, before carrying on down the hallway, almost skipping in her joy. Magnus grunted to himself, swallowing hard before turning slowly.

"You're leaving," Alec stated matter of factly, afraid to make it a question,

"Well…. yes…. unless you need me to check the wards before I go?" Magnus offered,

"No…..no, they're all fine, so…" Alec trailed off, shrugging his shoulders,

"Ok…well then…." Magnus paused, he usually relished having the last word, but not today, "Goodbye…Alexander."

Alec just breathed deeply in response, unable to reciprocate the farewell. His hands clenched painfully in his pockets as he fought the urge to reach out.

Stalling only slightly as he came shoulder to shoulder with Alec, Magnus approached the exit, sharing a sad smile with Izzy who was watching from afar. Alec averted his gaze as he waited for the sound of closing door, but it didn't come.

"Something wrong?" he asked, hopeful, despite his best efforts, that the hesitation meant something.

"I love you?" Magnus replied, turning to face him. The uplift at the end of each word making Magnus' profession seem more like a question.

"What?" Alec asked, thrown off balance by the confusion in Magnus' voice.

"I love you," Magnus repeated with more conviction, stepping closer, "I'm sorry that it took this long to realise that my love for you is more important than my mistrust for the Clave… or anything else."

Alec swallowed hard, not entirely sure that this wasn't some cruel vision conjured by his overtired brain.

"What are you saying Magnus?" he asked, unsure what this all meant.

"That I want both," Magnus answered, knowing Alec would catch his meaning, " I know I hurt you but…..

"Sshh," Alec said holding up a finger, he had hurt Magnus too, re-hashing the past wouldn't shed either of them in a favourable light. "I want both too…. as for the rest of this… we'll figure out….."

Magnus pulled Alec into his arms, Alec's arms wrapping around his shoulders as they held each other close.

"Woo-hoo! Finally!" Jace hollered down the hall, breaking the mood. "About damn time. So you guys all good now?" he asked tactlessly, clapping them both on the shoulder in an almost hug.

Alec answered his brother with a playful glare, 'Seriously, you had to interrupt us…..again.' it said. Jace had a unique skill of interrupting private moments.

"Get back to work Jace," he mock ordered, his hand locked within Magnus', "Oh and Jace…. the next time you decide to trigger a lockdown, maybe don't do it from your own terminal….." he called from the end of the hall.

"Wait…what…..how did you…no, you see that's not right because that's not even how I did it…." Jace stuttered, before realising he had been played, "oh…"

Laughing to himself, he walked the opposite way, sure that he heard Izzy's voice singing behind him "Busted!"

X. X X.

"My vote," Magnus said playfully as they stood in Alec's office, hips touching and arms loosely wrapped around each other, "is that the next lockdown happens at my place…..cocktails." he added raising his eyebrows playfully.

Alec pulled Magnus in closer and shook his head in laughter, despite everything, they fell back into their old rhythms so easily. Tough conversations were ahead, sure, but they wouldn't dwell on that now.

"Hmmm," Alec murmured unsure, "I'm not sure my liver could handle 24 hours of Magnus Bane's bartending skills,"

Magnus scrunched his face in mock outrage before smiling, "Well, if I can't talk you into cocktails, now I think about it, maybe you can help me some other way… I rarely leave my home unattended for so long, lots of unsavoury characters about you know…..if only I knew a Shadowhunter who might be able to check it out with me….just to make sure it's safe of course….."

"I get the feeling you could take of yourself," Alec teased as Magnus cast his arms in a wide circle, a portal emerging on the wall in front of them, "but you can never be too careful."

As they stepped through the portal, a lightness to them that they hadn't felt in a long time, Alec knew that the next 24 hours would be much happier than the last.


End file.
